i have a love-hate relationship with late at nights.

i love the stillness of late at nights and the privacy it has to offer. I love the way that i am the only person in the room and everyone else is sound asleep. When the only sound i hear is the fan and the silence of the world outside. When i can let my mind wander and wander and wander and there would be no one to break my train of thoughts.

i hate how easily late at nights can make me feel so alone, of how cold it feels when i'm too upset to fall asleep. I hate it that temporarily, i would have no one to talk to if i needed someone to talk to. I hate how suppressed memories seems to ambush me during these hours. I hate it when i'm stuck with a pile of unfinished work and everyone else is dreaming away, it's just so spirit-dampering. I hate late at nights during exam time, i hate it more when what i had to read seems to have no end.