A spot of Reminiscence.

I remember that time, we were living at the teacher's flat in Sekolah Alam Shah; then, still in Cheras. Ayah came back from work, it was evening naturally. And he said "Ayah ada kereta baru, let's go for a ride!" something along that line. Well, just to make it clear, technically it's a company car but who's complaining right? So off we went; him, Mak, Hadi, Haida and me- my siblings and I particularly, were practically racing down the stairs. The car was parked directly where we can see it from the hallway leading to the roofed carpark. I remember Haida exclaiming "Yeayyy! yeayyyy!" a couple of time. I was at the frontmost, smiling or rather, unsuccessfully trying to hide my smile with Ayah walking by my side. I don't know how or from where the idea came into being but for me then, displaying emotions is not cool.Poor child -_-". Anyway, I was more introverted then than I am now so that probably explains it.

And So, there it was. The Car. A Peugeot! Peugeot! Can you believe it?? Oh well OK. Of course I didn't know a thing about cars or brands but up until then, the cars we are used to were crummy Proton Saga/Waja the likes of them and our mother's battered, second-hand red BMW; the kind where you have to lift up the front seat to get to the back seat and the seats...Well,the seats are a story in itself if you get what I mean.

Now this new car- White, shiny, sleek and obviously foreign-made, sitting so proud on the carpark. And we're not talking about some crummy asian-made car here (please try to remember that I was 6 or 7), this is legit mat salleh's car with an unpronounceable name to boot.

So yeah, for the life of me, I can't recall where it was that we took a ride to. On top of that, after this particular car there were loads of other cars that came and went as replacements which of course can't remember when or what. But this particular moment, I remember with clarity. Probably because of Haida's uninhibited "Yeayys", and although I didn't register it then, in retrospect,-and I'm also saying this at the risk of making me sound overly romantic and idealistic-I'm pretty sure it was also because of Ayah's proud beaming smile at the sight of his wife and children being so impressed and genuinely happy. In short, that moment had a happy cheerful atmosphere about it and what it all boils down to is,that is the kind of stuff reminiscence tend to be made up off. Don't it?

A day too late; but a good song doesn't exactly have a use-by date.

Have a great remnants of 2010 everyone!

-

"...don't pointless things have a place, too, in this far-from-perfect world?Remove everything pointless from an imperfect life and it'd lose even its imperfection."

Sputnik Sweetheart, Haruki Murakami.

-

So you think you can tell,

Heaven from hell,

blue skies from pain.

Can you tell a green field

from a cold steel rail?

A smile from a veil?

Do you think you can tell?

Pink Floyd, obviously.

Answers.

If we could just take a holiday from this all,

if you could just dive into my mind,

wouldn't it be great?

-

Ok. Here's the thing.

Learn to take life as it comes.

Stop trying to find poetry in Every.Single.Thing.

I mean, it's good and all that you feel so deeply for everything,

but sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar.

Things happen because they happen.

So, don't over analyse.

And when it comes, it doesn't always have to sweep you off your feet.

That feeling is not overwhelming.It is not a broken dam-

millions of gallons of water gushing through it sweeping everything in its path.

In that way, it is not destructive.

That feeling may be wispy smoke, seeping little by little into a room. Subtle, and at times unnoticed.

Right side of twenty, wrong side of the bed.

Go figure.

-

Shit. That smile; and I'm already in trouble.

nostalgic. and stuff.

It is normal of course, for us to lose loads as we grow up. Baring in mind that we're gaining some new things as well along the way.

But why is it that I'm feeling like I've lost more than I am gaining?

Of course, if it is weight we're talking about, I wouldn't mind at all.

Instead of people, places, interests and so much more.

-

The thing about good looking is this:

You can be good looking; so can million others in the room. And millions more outside the room. There are loads of pretty people in the world, in every kind of way possible if we take them into account, where would you fall then?

So, No. It is not about the looks.

Besides, having someone liking you because of how you look is an insult to everything else that you are -your ideals, all your dreams and thoughts, your quirks, past, regrets and all- Everything that makes you, You.

Need I remind you, physical appearance is just the shell, not the essence.

Without that face, you would still be great. OK?

me-ow.

I want a british blue pretty pleeaase. (ayin, sya?)

oh crap~

Me, you.

So much to say,

but there's this tiny space in-between.

Such inconvenience!

in point of fact.

In some cases, the reason that we keep on gravitating on to the same stuff is simply sheer habit rather than a desperate want for it.

Habit: 1) A recurrent, often unconscious pattern of behavior that is acquired through frequent repetition.

2)An established disposition of the mind, or character.

Habit.

Like this space I'm typing in, melancholy, Facebook (now everyone can relate)

or a Certain Someone,

for example.

-

The baby bat

Screamed out in fright,

"Turn on the dark,

I'm afraid of the light."

Batty by Shel Silverstein.

Fake plastic trees.

If I go out of my usual ways to impress someone then I would not be me anymore would I?

It would be just someone that I pretend to be.

We all can't pretend forever. It'll wear us out.

-

When we meet someone new it is always the same way; we tell them about ourselves, they tell us about themselves.

And telling my part is what I hate.

After-all, all those information that strangers exchange on the initial stage of getting-to-know-each-other hardly ever change over the years and while it is interesting to listen to the other party because they're telling something new, listening to myself is a whole other story.

Saying the same things and answering the same questions have left me feeling somewhat redundant. Pretty much like watching reruns of gossip girl.

-

What I observed for the past 3 days was a place too full of mediocrity and too much pride. A combination of complete oxymoron. Opposite ends of the magnet.

Too much pride for even a tiny speck of achievement, or of power (or a kind of it) it kind of makes us feel sad really, to actually see people so pathetic.

I wonder, with so many screw ups, where the hell did the source of pride come from?

Let's not end up being one of these people shall we?

Paraphernalia.

In that room full of drab old stuff, you were probably the only one that sparkled.

This kills.

Giovanna Battaglia in Alaia, via Jak&Jil

Little Bo Peep all grown up.

Dang, too cute!

Barbie dolls of the world eat your heart out.

-

It was morning and I was in the auto-rickshaw. The stretch of road along Mathikere was busy as usual, and the autos, cars and buses were basically crawling. I really don't mind the crawl.

I really don't mind the crawl?

Well, the statement is misleading so let me rephrase that;

I wouldn't mind the crawl- when I have had a relatively good morning and was not running late and have plenty of time to spare.

But as things often goes and as I reckon you would've guessed,

I would have overslept, rushed my bath, barely put myself together, ran late and had very little time to spare, in which situation I would mind the crawl, very much thank you.

Today was one of those relatively spatial, "good mornings". I had a good sleep, bathed long enough, actually ironed my blouse and truth be told, had absolutely no class for me to be late for as the study week has started. Plus the weather today, as it has been for a couple of days so far, was of the perfectly balmy kind. -Overall, great!

So there I was in the autorickshaw, in the middle of the unbelievably noise polluted Mathikere's morning traffic crawl and crowd:

School kids, now in their winter uniform crossing the streets, some already waiting for their school bus at the bus stops. A college student I suppose, with backpack and books in arm and all, chasing for a bus that was just about to pull away from the bus stand. Stores along the street getting ready for the day's business- shutters being pulled up, respective pavements swept of dust and garbage, only for both to be pushed off to the roadside after which I guess other cleaning lady will take care of, or not.(My guess is yes, but never really soon enough or rather, rapid enough for the street to ever be litter-free).

Random motorcycles coming up from behind the auto-rickshaw trying to sneak their ways in between us and the bus, motorcycles very narrowly missing the passenger alighting from the still-moving bus, car honks at decibels that would've been illegal anywhere else, cows trying to cross the road as if it wasn't already packed with vehicles, vegetable and fruit sellers setting up their stores of wooden carts- mounts of tomatoes, pomegranates, apples and aubergines and some leafy herbs, all fresh and very cheap. Auto-drivers getting vocal when their vehicle narrowly missed being hit (usually by other auto-rickshaws), a calf refusing to budge from the middle of the road-Oh, you get the picture!

Basically your average morning.

Finally the auto-rickshaw reached The Tender Chicken(Halal Cut) which was a relief because usually two to three stores ahead, the traffic would become smoother as the road gets wider. In front of The Tender Chicken was an old man and an old woman whom I assume to be husband and wife. Both are, as we say in the medical lingo, moderately built (that is to say, of medium height) and seemingly thin.

They had grey, weather-beaten face; coarse and lined, probably looked older than they actually are. The man was slightly hunched, although that didn't stop him from still being at least two inches taller than his wife.

I did not pay attention to what they were wearing, but the baskets that both of them was carrying attracted my eyes because these are the types of baskets which I've seen manual labourers use to transfer sands and stones at construction sites.

So yes; to my interpretations, they are husband and wife who also happens to be two manual labourers on their way to work on a Monday morning. The thing is they looked a little old and frail too, for that kind of work.

But hey, I guess that's reality for them. That's reality for us.

Anyway, so there I was observing the man and woman. Old, obviously not living the easy life and in short, definitely not your romance-book couple.

The husband was walking a step in front of the wife and I saw the wife saying something to him. The old man, whom I assume because of his age and condition, could be having some degree of hearing difficulties, bent his head a little so that it levels with his wife's. And hey, what do you know, soon after he heard what the woman said, his face breaks into this honest-to-god smile which gave the impression that he thoroughly enjoyed what the woman said. The woman smiled too.

Damn. That did it. That was the best part of the whole morning.

This one's cute.

A dalmation cheating on her partner with a cat. Imagine that.

Cat must've been great.

ha!

-

slate.

No, worse. It's bitumenous. Asphalt concrete.

This week is definitely rock (or some form of it). all the way.meh.

The sweetest song.

"from your changing contentments,

what will you choose for to share?

someday drawing you different,

may I be weaved in your hair?"

- Love and some verses, Iron and Wine.

-

Nope, we are all not the same.

Strip us bare to the core of our soul, and you'll still find

variants.

Because experiences, like ink, are of many kinds.

And experiences, like ink, has the ability to seep into layers of us

depositing itself, becoming more permanent over time.

Given long enough it'll reach into our deepest part making a home for itself.Stain.

or Colour.

What kind of segue is this anyway?

I'm fat and my kuih lapis didn't turn out OK.

oh dang!

Music and moonlight.

We are the music makers,

And we are the dreamer of dreams,

Wandering by lone sea-breakers,

And sitting by desolate streams;

World-losers and world-forsakers,

On whom the pale moon gleams,

Yet we are the movers and shakers

Of the world for ever, it seems.

the first stanza of Arthur William O'Shaughnessy's Ode; Music and Moonlight.

well,

some days are diamonds and some days are rocks, right?

And my most overused phrase happens to come from a tom petty and the heartbreakers song. pfft.

-

The fact that this is a month in which we have to fast daily, but is still anticipated and welcomed wholeheartedly, speaks volumes.

Have a great Ramadhan everyone :)

I should've just eaten grilled you with HP fruity bbq sauce, least I could've gotten proper calories and protein instead of just plain ol' carb.Grrr.

I eat when I'm stressed out.

You stressed me out.

So I ate (chocolate bar)

Eff u.

Now, who needs purgatives when you can have food poisoning for free?

My tummy is now flat OH! (well, almost.)

That figment of imagination that I stumbled upon, somewhere; sometime ago.

"So what if the person I'm currently smitten with is the template of the ones that I fell for before? so what?"

So what eh?,

clearly, you've got some issues you need to come face to face with.

Where the hell did all the eloquent people in the world come from and how did they get to be so eloquent?

I have just finished reading Murakami's "the wind-up bird chronicle" and to be honest, I have this.. em, empty feeling inside. This, I assure you, is a direct result of the novel.

I am still not sure if this is a good kind of empty feeling, or a bad kind of empty feeling though. I'm still grappling with what the novel is all about. Even as I am typing this, I'm wondering, "what was all that about??"

In a way, I am typing this down to get rid of the feeling (or probably to better comprehend this feeling, or to be more accurate, to get rid of this feeling by better comprehending it. If you catch my drift).

Yes, I think I kind of get the whole general storyline but there are deeper ideas of the novel that I still could not particularly grasp.

Not to say that this is a bad novel. In fact it is far from it. This is just the kind of novel, which for me, requires some degree of thinking and analyzing before the understanding can even begin to dawn in. In all probability, on my part, the understanding might never arrive at all, but still it provokes me to thinkthinkthink, and that at least is certainly not bad. Just like what happened with sputnik sweetheart.

OK.I think i would probably have to re-read the book to be able to understand it. But this, I will do later. Much much later.

This is a book that sometimes have me feeling like I am slowly trudging through the pages, if only because some parts of the story are truly bizarre and let me tell you that the plots are not arranged in consequent order. So while reading this, you just have to have the conviction that the writer knows where he is guiding you, until you finally arrive where the pieces of puzzle fall into place. And trust me, there will be a point where the puzzle pieces falls into place and have the bigger picture unveiled to you. You just have to keep on trudging in order for them to do so.

Perseverance, my friend, usually pays.

But still, feeling like I am trying to find my way through a labyrinth-blindfolded, can be quite draining. And this is not an experience I would like to repeat anytime too soon, no matter how attracted I am to Haruki Murakami's style of writing.

I would say that I had enjoyed Kafka On the Shore, and Norwegian Wood much much better than this particular novel. Even Sputnik Sweetheart which have left me quite confused, I have taken to re-reading some random pages from it from time to time.

Thing is, I did not feel any affinity for any of the characters in the book. Not that I hate any of the characters or anything, I just didn't feel anything for them. Indifference might be the right word.

Usually when I am reading a book, I would become so engrossed with it that I feel like I am a part of the story. But not so much with this.

The best I can say is that curiosity was the largest part of the emotions that this book had stirred and alas, although the bigger picture was revealed to me, too many questions went unanswered. Well, maybe the answers were meant to be implicit, but to me they also come across as ambiguous (It is also possible that they are meant to be ambiguous) and I am left dissatisfied.

If you are expecting some kind of a review, then don't, this is not. This is me writing as I am thinking or thinking as I am writing, whichever.

Fiction.

We were running, so fast that everything around us became a blur of colours, and scents became a mixture of everything unidentifiable.

That should be the part where I said

"Stop."

Instead I had let us stayed that way, peaceful in our oblivion,

until we finally crashed and burned in a way that rivaled the intensity of fireworks, or of a torched mansion.

Honestly, who could give us a better ending?

Bittersweet.

homesick. sumpah.

No.

It is more of being homesick for things that has happened,

or of things that usually took place back at home.

Even as i am typing a thousands of images of people and places and events are flashing thru my brain.

Rasa macam, sedih, nostalgic, pleasant, rindu, excited, terkilan, and in the end, a weak smile.

Ever played around with those water color in tubes

When you mix several colour and you don't mix them properly, you would get that swirls of colours right? Each colour distinguishable, but impossible to extract.

Then you went on to mix them until all those colours blend to become one homogeneous shade that you wouldn't know the name of. Rasa macam tulah kot.

A cup of varied emotions thrown into a bowl.

Pour in some reels of memories,

add expectations and brutal honesty to taste. Mix well.

et Voila!-

a feeling I can't describe.

Hurmph can't wait to go home.

I'm well aware that not everything that I am homesick for will be replicated.

But half is enough;

half would be great.

After all a half plus a set of new ones will still make a whole.

A whole.

Bukan a hole.

Let's not do this.

Spent the whole time whining.

Looking but not seeing,

never trying to venture,

perceiving this world as unfit for us.

Demanding things to be handed over

as if what we do is rarely ever wrong.

When dusk sets in,

we wished,

We could be More-

how sad.

Drops Of Jupiter (a nonsensical rant inspired by a song by the same name)

well, hi.

Firstly, i hope that you're having fun out there in the milky way. How is Pluto? Is it as cold as everyone said it would be? I hope you managed to cheer him up and all. What with all the racket that people down here made about Pluto being a lesser planet. How can we demote a planet like that? It doesn't matter if it is named after the god of the underworld, don't they know, Pluto is sensitive.

But you. I bet you've already found a way to cheer him up.

Thanks for that last letter.You know, I could understand most of it except for the part where Aquarius and Leo was involved. What was that suppose to mean? It looked like Aquarius was dunking Leo in the water vessel, is that what it was? I just don't get it.

How did you do that anyway? How did you write stories from constellations? It seems so fascinating to me but I guess I'll never know will I?

Me.

Earth dweller.Ground walker.

I've never even been to the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean. Never even walked the trench. Too scared of the sharks, of the unknown, of that one eyed fish with its lamp-like antennae (I've seen it in a Doraemon paperback once and let me tell you, it don't look nice). Heck, it is possible that I would even get freaked out by the planktons being the illogical worrywart that I am.

I bet you're thinking the same- "Yeah, she's always been an illogical worrywart".

You always were the free spirit, and I, the shackle.

Oh well, let's not start again.

As I am writing this, (and I am writing this under the open sky, just like how we used to wrote) the sky is not that clear. The clouds are jealous of you, you know. They can only travel the troposphere, so you have to understand why they are being so difficult.

Despite this, Orion is beautiful at any rate. Orion was always your favorite did you remember?

And because it was yours, eventually it became mine too.

All those stars- Betelgeuse and Rigel and Bellatrix and The three Marys.

They have become exceedingly familiar to me- Even if it only means waving to them from down here.

Why did you go after that shooting star anyway?

Oh please don't read too much into this.

I am not a fan of psychological games and passive-aggressive craps.

So we good then.

mmkay?

when we're thrown into something else,

how easy it is

for all dreams to be neglected

for a while at first, but it gradually becomes too long.

Then they'll shrivel.

The worst thing is forgetting.

And,

we won't even know who we are anymore.

I am just like the sky before a storm, most days.

But.

Certain people are simply sunshine!

They're unaffected by my moodiness and are certainly good for me.

Thanks :)

There's just someone's writing I am missing.

The way those words are formed-

the cool tone that sometimes came across as trying too hard,

jokes for anyone who gets them,

deliberately obscure passages.

The thoughts that let people knows.

There's just someone's writing that I miss.

Everyone needs somewhere or rather someone they can always come back to- a point of reference,a safe house.

"a song for

someone who needs somewhere

to long for

homesick

cause I no longer

know what home is"

-kings of convenience, homesick.

******

Try taking the people you love out of that place you thought you love;

and you'd find the place devoid of any meaning anymore,

being just a shell that echoes what once took place there. Just an object of sentimental values.

If I can have the person I love. The people I love with me, I imagine that we can build a home anywhere.

and be just as happy.

Because I find that home,is more about the people

rather than the place itself.

Yes, stupid people. stop littering. the earth is not your garbage can.

1) you don't recycle.

granted, it is hard to find a recycling centre around here.

2) you do not save energy.

how many hours have you let that notebook of yours on a standby mode? and do you really need all those lights?

3)And have you ever given a thought as to how much waste we produce in a day? We keep on buying stuff, keep on using stuff and the world is running out of options to manage these wastes. "Thirsty? oh buy that bottled water."

"Oh man, this paper is a bit crumpled, throw this away, gimme a new piece of paper." "Yes, i want the plastic bag, i mean, i can put this canned drink i bought in my bag pack, but oh, what the heck, the person is giving a plastic bag, why refuse?".

"Ohhhh lets buy those packaged food, then throw all the wrappers in the bin, mixed up with other stuff. Make the segregation costs exorbitant thus recycling impossible, why don't we?"

" used cooking oil? pour them into the sink. or into the drain. let's not give a thought to what it does on the surroundings shall we?"

still, we all do this most of the time, and then when conscience strikes only will we do the right thing. i mean this is understandable, we're all still trying.

what i don't understand is, on top of all these things that doesn't help at all,
you still have the nerve to litter?

i mean how fucking ignorant can a person get, right? especially if he calls himself educated.

of all the easy stuff to do, this should be peanuts.

don't catch my drift? here, lemme help:

got a cigarette butt? put the amber out. hold on to it until u find a garbage can THEN only you throw it away. Don't just flick it anywhere you want as if you own this earth.

candy wrapper and no dustbin in sight? put the tiny thing in your pocket. empty it when you get home.

I mean. come on. we've done so much damage to the world and even then we can't abstain from littering?

What? expect people will clean up after the trash?

for heaven's sake. stop being so fucking arrogant.

we share this earth.

and if you can't even bother look after it, please do not act like you have the bloody right to walk on it.

arrogant piece of shit.

let's take a breather.look around.

"I was trying to climb out of this dark hole. In my climbing frenzy I did not look around, I thought I was the only one and I felt so alone and scared. Turned out there are millions like me in that hole -panic stricken, lonely and terrified. No one notices anyone else. And in our determination not to get swallowed by that hole, we didn't realise that we pushed the weaker ones down."

i just think, that we are sometimes too caught up with our own little problems that we forget other people have sufferings too. sometimes bigger than ours.

It is easy for anyone to be selfish while wallowing in self pity.

I have been the one who pushes,

and the one who were pushed.

You, you have been both too.

Before you go to bed tonight;

take that little box marked "travel"
where you put some notes into, every week.
or that picture of the lost love,
you hope to meet again.
take those stardusts,
fairy-wands, sweet nothings-
everything you ever wished of.
Take them all and put them under your pillow.
(Before you go to bed tonight.)
Then try to dream of them.
Drink them. Experience them.
And you'll get immersed in them.

Because ya know,
reality is a long shot by far.

Quote of the day.

"beci wey lok nok exam nih cepat lah maso dop saba aku nok abih exam cepat-cepat bia nok jadi gapo pom aku malah doh duk nunggu lamo weh pah exam nih aku nop tido banyop lamo-lamo toksey bangun doh mu bo efi jange kejuk aku tido deh nati"

-wawa-

Hahaha. sumpah lawak.terima kasih wawa dan efi kerana menceriakan hari saya. Hilang mengantuk.

via .

It feels like meeting an old friend.

"No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood"

*****

an ancient song,

but still so good to hear.

You know, the thing with words; you can turn it and flip it and twist it around to get the most amazing thing.

Those words,

they came from nothing.

Just got picked out of clear air,

a cluttered space,

or chaotic mess.

Maybe somewhere at the back of our mind.

Then slowly there are sentences,

a passage,

and paragraphs formed.

Something that is not previously there,

suddenly is.

Furthermore,

tangible,

spreadable.

Visible to you and I.

Whatever we created,

becomes our possession.

We are all magicians.

******

and I'm glad that these words are formed the way they are:

When you feel touched,

you
unintentionally
make yourself smaller
because
the impression is so
big.
Your soul gets
skimped
like a sponge
and then there are
tears.

(Rudolf Steiner)

via loveology.

So in touch, yet so removed from everything.

Blame the internet,

if you please.

When we are too busy to look, the flowers; they bloom like crazy.

the photos don't do justice,

but they are brilliant yellow. Glorious, eye-blinding, yellow.

Van Gogh would have fallen in love.

FoodMagic.

Hari ini saya makan Kashmiri Naan untuk lunch,

a) kerana saya ingin 'mencuba somethin new'.

b) kerana Kashmiri Naan sounds "glam" bukan?

dan setelah saya menunggu dgn anxious nya. order saya sampai terakhir sekali.

selepas...

i) gobi manchurian (cauliflower goreng tepung kuah cili, sounds odd tapi sedap. sungguh.)

ii) grilled fish (tapi cumalah ikan goreng dgn hiasan bawang merah dipotong mayang.hampeh.)

iii)chili chicken with gravy.

iv)tandoori chicken-half portion

v)cheese naan dan;

vi) drums of heaven (oh, nama makanan ini memang gah. don't scratch your head though, ia hanyalah 'chicken drumstick' sahaja. Nama lain: chicken lollipop)

semasa kashmiri naan dihantar, first impression saya:

ohh. seperti sedap, ada naan with ubi kentang yang dipotong halus halus, and what's that??- ohhh. olives!

"buddy, sukalah tu, sbb ada olives" <----sya kata.

appearance sahaja, pass.

ok kemudian masa makan.

Omaigod!!

'ubi kentang' adalah sebenarnya buah apple yg sudah dihiris halus-halus, exposed to air, oxidized, turns yellow, maka nampak seperti kentang goreng wth.

dan 'olives' saya adalah grapes! huh magic sungguh.

oh, and on top of that. pernah makan naan dan semua itu, ditambah dgn telur a la scramble dan gula?

Yes. sungguh adventure taste palate saya pada hari ini.

Sekian.

Cameos.

it's a pity, really. All those characters that we took a liking to but never had the chance to look deeper into. They are just a passing figure in our lives. And as we reminisce and gets consumed by the memories, these people will come to our mind and we'll wonder where they are now, what they are doing, whether they're ok.

To do anything beyond wondering would be rare. These are afterall, those people who only shared the briefest moments of our lives.

But oh. How you wish you had gotten to know them better!

Shel Silverstein, I Love You!

Question: "Why do you have a beard?"
Shel: "I don't have a beard. It's just the light; it plays funny tricks."

Question: "How do you think your present image as world traveler, bawdy singer, etc. combines with your image as a writer of children's books?"
Shel: "I don't think about my image."

Question: "Do you admit that your songs and drawings have a certain amount of vulgarity in them?"
Shel: "No, but I hope they have a certain amount of realism in them."

Question: "Do you shave your head for effect or to be different, or to strike back at the long-haired styles of today?"
Shel: "I don't explain my head."

—Shel Silverstein (1965) from the album I'm So Good That I Don't Have to Brag.

from wikipedia (where else.)

ok, here's a question:

what can occur

twice in every minute
180 times in an hour
and...
2880 times in a day.

haaa
work your brains!

For all the tough front we carefully built for the world to see; we are fooling nobody but ourselves.

A bunch of friends knocked the hell out of my door it almost fell off it hinges, bought me a surprise birthday cake and lovely presents and started an impromptu camwhoring party.

and then, there's the amazingly sweet e-collage that must've been painstakingly completed.

thank you.

away from home feels very much at home with you guys around :) :)

sayang.sayang.sayang.

I shouldn't go to bed just yet but anyway,

"We are such stuff; As dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with sleep."

-Prospero in the tempest.

Goodnight. Let's dream of stardusts, milky-way and places faraway.

Today's phrase.

In the word of the sister:

" Tengok Vicky Christina Barcelona macam tengok siput babi racing."

hahaha. clearly we have different movie preference.

When we're busy at playing adult,

there're those tiny things that still manage to excite.

I suppose,

there will always be a piece of that little child in all of us.

oh you are so boisterous and i thought high school is over.

get this: it is normal for anyone and I say, anyone at all, to always hang around the people they feel comfortable with and as much as possible, stay away from those they don't feel at ease with.

completely normal.

kalau tak suka tu, tak suka lah. fine.

so, kau mahu apa?

stop playing the victim.it is getting old.

bosan. Clearly you have the imagination; please do something worthwhile with it.

This simple pleasure.

It was just another post-class evening and for the first few minutes after we reach home, the three of us were in Sya and Ayin's room just like always. I, still in my t-shirt and jeans was sitting on Sya's bed with knees drawn to my chest- probably playing at my toenails or something other-I didn't pay attention. Ayin was already out of her class outfit, airing her towel at the mini sized balcony attached to their room. Sya was standing by the study table next to the bed that I was on, arranging the flowers she just bought on our way back from class. We were talking of nothing in particular, silly random stuff.Things that one usually forgets just as soon as the conversation ends. Stuff of no importance, really. But there we were all the same, jumping off from one topic to another, laughing a lot in between and Ayin her back to us, would occasionally turn her head around to tease or to add a point, I had to look up to those two from my position on the bed and Sya was arranging those pretty yellow carnations in the vase while talking and laughing as if it was the most natural thing to do.

Quotidian, this. Nothing extraordinary at all.

But there you have it, if I were to freeze those few minutes and show it to you, you could see that we were truly enjoying ourselves albeit over things that has no importance to you, even to us.

This is afterall, a simple pleasure.

The perfect company.

For a cool, balmy afternoon I give you;

Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong.

Simply sublime.

p/s: anyone know where I can buy this album?

aujourd'hui

This little guy (assuming that it was a 'he') didn't even realise that I took his picture. He was too busy observing his two friends playing.

AND look carefully at the shadows of the trees on the picture below. There were crescent shaped patterns and (I think) they were cast by the annular eclipse that occurred today.

cool kan?

Life lesson 101.

Just like love is often mistaken for loathing,

being shy is often misconstrued as aloofness.

situation.

kau rasa kau lagi bagus dari orang tu dan orang ini, serba-serbi. Taste, style, personality, Segala.

Orang tu pulak rasa kau ni narrow minded; that she'd much rather be herself than be you any day of the week, thankyouverymuch.

tapi dua-dua tak sedar.

Life's not a competition, there's no need to compare yourself from one person to another.Who are you anyway to think that you're better than anyone?

Just because one doesn't hold the same opinion as you do, because one's way of thinking differ from yours?

Because a person is a driver of some sort and you see yourself as an educated person, does it give you the right to treat that person with less respect? Stop having such high opinions of yourself.

Each one of us, we're simply a drop of water in the vast ocean. It doesn't matter what we do, even if we're bound to save thousands of life, if we're not around, the world would still find a way to get along just fine without us. Yea, we are that small.

So let's just live our lives as peacefully as possible and reserve all judgmental thoughts only for situations that calls for it.

Mokingbird Wish Me Luck.

"it's not the large things that

send a man to the

madhouse. death he's ready for, or

murder, incest, robbery, fire, flood . . .

no, it's the continuing series of small tragedies

that sends a man to the

madhouse . . . "

an excerpt from happy new year; Charles Bukowski. almost true.